Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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