Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
