Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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