Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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