Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
