Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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