i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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