T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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