laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
