All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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