Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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