Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
