There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
