I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
