Buhtt sex?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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