I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
my shit smells like andre
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
