Rock
Scissors
Fuck
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Randomize
