i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
