mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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