Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
