I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
