so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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