What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
