fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize