I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
We talked him into tasing himself.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
