my phone needs a breathalizer
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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