I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
