hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
