i may or may not be watching the land before time
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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