At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Green mimosas i think yes
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
My ass is underappreciated
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
