No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
