am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
As shirtless as possible
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
