Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I think my moral compass just broke
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
