i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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