There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
