I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
