she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
