my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
So squirting runs in the family.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
