Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
