There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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