Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
