It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
