It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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