Barsexuality is the new black.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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