go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
