His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
