he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I have aggressive nipples.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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