You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
