she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Randomize
