There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
